Reflecting upon the recent “conscious uncoupling” of my all time favorite power couple*, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin, I am realizing that not all of us are created with the intention of love. Although, that man penned the song “Yellow” (Coldplay sucks). It was a touching song about love, I think, I haven’t listened to it since I was maybe fourteen years old. Gwyneth creates delightful raw foods and loses weight and plays damaged roles in films. She also (seemingly) sucks, but that doesn’t look to be the focal point of their parting. Meanwhile, on the other side of the world, Kanye Kardashian and Kim West are coupled up, snuggling, discussing which one has a more beautiful smile (ass). They (seemingly) have a happy relationship based on Kanye dictating what they wear each day, and which direction their child is facing (He is a compass which has been dropped once, perhaps twice). Last night Katie was catching up on her celebrity gossip and now I feel trapped in a brain melting spiral as I find myself reading Gawker and pushing my cat off of my chest, which she continuously stabs her claws into. Today could be a good day. It is cold outside but the shopping malls are open and full of deals. Go purchase that bag you’ve always dreamed of throwing on your closet floor. Go purchase that scarf you’ve needed all winter and can finally afford with the spring clothing arriving.
*obviously a joke. Beyonce & Jay Z are the only power couple.
"You’re hot then you’re cold. You’re yes then you’re no."
I TOOK A FUCKING SELFIE IN THIS PUBLIC BATHROOM WHO CARES I LOOK GOOD I HOPE IT GETS WARM SOMEDAY AND JACKETS GO FUCK OFF
need a sex tip? Cosmo says fuck a donut. fuck a donut. just fuck the fucking donut you fucking piece of shit. fuck you
We saw the Supreme video and now our swag is all changed.